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If I could Change One Thing…

March 10, 2010

Late September 1991..

She was out with her mates for the first time, for over a year I had been her only friend, we were lovers and had been married for 3 months.

It had been so easy, we seemed so comfortable together. We liked mostly the same things. We seemed happy.

So.. Instead of going home after my meeting, I decide that I would join them and get to meet her friends.

“Hello” I said…

The look.. I had never seen anything but love in her look before, now I saw hate. The hammer blow that that look hit me with was a physical pain.

I swallowed hard. “Can I get you a drink?” I manage to say.

Suzanne asks for something, I can’t remember what. “Yeah, fine.” She says.

I come back with the drinks. “He’s late, where is he?” She asks Suzanne.

Who’s he??

He arrived at some point, they were going back to His place after.

I don’t remember much more until we left the pub. I offered them a lift.. Her, Him and Suzanne. She refused, they would walk, why not? It wasn’t far.

What do I do now? Go home and leave Her with Him? Go with them? I didn’t know, I still don’t know.

I drove round 3 times.. in a fury, totally confused.. what had gone wrong??

December.. She left me.

If I could change one thing?

I would have gone home after the meeting, and let Her have her night out. Would it have made a difference? I don’t know, I doubt She knows either.

Regrets.. yeah I have a few.. this is my biggest.

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From → Life, love

One Comment
  1. Are you saying that the man was not interested in Suzanne but rather your wife?

    If that’s the case, no. Don’t regret not going home. In situations like these, the person being cheated on finds out, whether later rather than sooner, but it can’t stay hidden forever. Perhaps if you were only dating, then maybe you could overlook some things, if you were truly willing.

    BUT. You were married. And the look of hate? No. You deserved better.

    That was very painful, I know. And I’m sorry you suffered.

    But don’t regret that you were kept in the dark. It would still have hurt down the road.

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